Monday, March 23, 2020

Love in the Time of Coronavirus

Hi Carole,

Perhaps more ickiness than love, frightening.  A break with streaming from the MET Eugene Onegin. Superb opera!!!!

Positively crazy times here, topsy-turvey. Your kids OK ... 

From, relating to test to prove string theory:

Axion particles are believed to have incredibly low masses, potentially ranging from a millionth of the mass of an electron down to zero mass. The team also looked for signs of "axion-like particles," which are a broader class of ultra-low-mass particles with similar properties to axions, according to the statement. 

Additionally, these ultra-low-mass particles may sometimes convert into photons — the particles that make up light — when they pass through magnetic fields. In turn, photons may also convert into axions under certain conditions. Both scenarios depend on the mass of the particles and how easily they can make the conversion, also known as convertibility, according to the statement. 

Love you.

Friday, February 21, 2020

NERF vs Captain Hook and Peter Pan

NERF gun vs Captain Hook and Peter Pan
February 20, 2020

The Xbox broke, 
twenty-year-old tube TV flickered.
Playing ensued. 

Miguel 15, William 9.

Tuesday, February 18, 2020


Carole, I am so positively stumped without you... found your copy of Journeys in Wonderland, maybe transition(s) in it... hints? Is third person, easily changed to first. But alternative realities? I am so stuck!

WORKING COPY. Possibe closing to chapter one, ot not. 

Reflecting on that day, what also remained with me was Carolee’s full-heartedness, her kindness. It was my kid sister who ignored the splatter, timidly tippy-toed toward Mom, the glide of her feet inaudible. It was she, the youngest, who'd tugged at Mom’s bathrobe and wrapped her arms around her waist. Not me, Leslie, chickenshit, nearly wetting myself. Myrna had cleared out early on. It was the last born, seven-year-old Carolee who stepped up. 

As I said, my knowing, having already lived that timeline didn’t interfere with its happening.  And if it had turned out another way, who could say where Carolee and I would have ended up?  Our sisterhood wasn’t cut short then. Not that I had reason to think it might have although the stream of distancing might have been mangled somehow. Or I’d remember differently. However in all honesty, how could anyone forget something like that?  Still, you had to consider especially in light of Carolee’s proclivity, and her penchant for ventriloquism, throwing her voice like a time-space slingshot that would call out from faraway places. 

That day remained our secret, because Carolee made it so. Her reach then and in future years evidenced by her whimsy, the way she’d expand mythologies, explore the hidden power of inanimate things, extend them, make them malleable, turn them inside out. And suddenly — whoosh — a new beginning appeared bright and alluring renewed by a fresh perspective, her words transmuting the order of the universe. 

And now, in this present, both Carolee and her prequel, Sophie, no longer with me, I am hearing Carolee’s revelry from a yonder, feeling her prodding: her insistence: quit-ya-belly-aching, get a moving girl, you’ve a job at hand.  You must complete the story we began but could not finish together. 


Tuesday, January 21, 2020


Stories by  Ted Chiang, one titled The Truth of Fact, the Truth of Feeling ....

Friday, January 3, 2020

January 3, 2020. Carole's Birthday

My dearest sister, Carole.

In Memory of Carole Leslie Marcus
1950 - 2002

This blog entry first created using 2017 computer... The look is different, font size smaller in previous posts. Pictures of your boys — grown men now! Both images from December, 2019.

Danny, spreading tahini on bread with bananas

Joshua and yours truly

Sunday, December 29, 2019

December 29, 2019

This text line written in newer 2017 computer ...

Rest from 2009 computer, page looked different in 2016 computer ...

Now,  how to link this account to other blogspot accounts? Maybe log in and out?

How to get back to

Oh Carole! You with me until my last breath, and then?

Tonight is last night of Hanukkah, 2019... your birthday up next.

Wednesday, December 11, 2019

December 11. 2019

My dear sister,

Carole. You are always in my thoughts, rummaging and laughing. Not a day goes by that I am not with you. I'll figure out how to add this blog to the one in the other computer, will write more often then. .... Sam and William are coming over in a bit — William  brims with cheer... as if you and I with our kids.  Sam will check out plumbing, William and I will play something... maybe Scrabble for kids, was fun last time. Am making brownies from a mix, spaghetti and meatballs for supper...

No way, forget Scrabble, he went for brownies and Minecraft....Oh Carole, Minecraft so after your time!

The fireplace with lights, your picture on the mantle, you at college — nineteen-years-old. When I first put it up 17 years ago, your son  Danny didn't recognize  "Who is that good looking chick?" he had asked. Beautiful, courageous you.

It is an unusually warm December day, temperature like May...  am so petrified of hurricane season 2020 ... phobic. We going into it unprepared, priced out of insurance. If around this time next year, whole and complete, will be a wonderment.

Love you dearly.

Pinecrest Floods... 

Thursday, October 31, 2019

October 31, 2019

hi Carole,

Thinking of you, and all the times we'd run out the morning after Halloween and buy up the on sale candy! Crazy times!!!!

Third-grader William is glad we are not tagging along this year, because last year we slowed him down!

Democratic House today voted 232 to 196 setting rules for impeachment ... proceedings ... against Trump. You would love it!!! You with your huge, jubilant brown eyes. 

Wednesday, October 23, 2019

Resuming, October 23, 2019

Neu, my dearest, have begun again, back to our story...

Three Attention Deficit Sisters and the Mafia

Saturday, October 19, 2019

)October 19, 2019


I opened this old computer before your day, the October 19 when you left us, maybe hoping for something enlightening.

You, your smile.

Your breath...

You, with me always.

"...And the sunlight clasped the earth
And the moonbeams kissed the sea..."

With Danny in Key West, sun-drenched or evening-hued ..

Petals of roses kissing the sea from all of us.

Oh Carole...bereft-ness abounds

October 19, 2002
October 19, 2019
Seventeen long years without you