Reflecting you

Carole, a decade of loss. Tomorrow, October 19. How to express you, for you and that incomplete energy?

Grit

Carolee’s head lowered at the same time she raised the pages closer, her bony knuckles like fists protruding from taut bronze skin. Pinched between her fingers was a legal form, notarized and stamped. I could not yet read it, but felt an eerie quiet that hushed the room, filling it with a stillness that blew back onto itself and movement ceased until she began again, her stare going from the page in front to the top of her eye sockets, above to the ceiling. When her eyes fell, the absorbing returned. She repeated this several times, her mouth twitching, reading silently without talking until seemingly sated, the unspoken words coalesced into a grief that amplified the air into an outrage denser than the breath she’d let go of, turning the next heave and all that followed into fury even before a sound left her mouth. Silence can do this, be alive and dying at the same time.

UM Oct 11, 2012---Yeaaaa Obama

Carole, you would have loved it!!!

Chutzpah, cheers to us!

Carole, we are doing it ... took another line from your story, embellished it, keep adding your thoughts, you there telling me ... Most often, I wish you'd speak with more clarity.

Something I won't say yet ... a friend encouraged, saying: DO YOU WANT TO DIE WONDERING???????

Love, H

5773

Or 2012

Or eons

... a wisp ...

poof.

Scientists have designed a brain implant that sharpened decision making and restored lost mental capacity in monkeys, though years away from commercial development, the device, (with its impulses) gives researchers a model for how to support and enhance fairly advanced mental skills in the frontal cortex of the brain, the seat of thinking and planning.

There it is, that spidery frontal cortex, again.

WE in Cathode Blue

Dream Aug 6, 2012

Sitting in a chair-desk with wheels at your Lugo home, Mom had typed instructions for an unidentified gismo. When finished, I suggested that she post on YouTube as it might benefit others. Oh NO, she couldn’t do that. It was hers; she wouldn’t budge. Wanting to show her YouTube, I went over to the TV screen, but the room light was reflecting on it, glaring any image. Mom had refused to move even a few feet to see, so Curt attempted to adjust screen for her. The monitor was our big cathode TV, like the TIVO he actually made. Trying to appease her, he slid it near the edge of the shelf. Finally Mom wiggled her butt in the chair for a look. I picked up the keyboard to type in address, only to discover the keyboard was actually the control console for a kid's game — molded plastic, bright blue with the letters W and E and flowers in neon orange. I showed it you and we laughed together.

PS: Curiousity Rover landed on Mars today ...

Danny's 29th!

Hi Carole,

Here's your Danny with his girl, Jessi.

And the cake cutter.

Yum.

You'd be so proud!

July 16, Danny's 29th

Today is Danny's 29 birthday. I'm trying not be be all gobby eyed. He'll be here soon for pizza and cake and I'm so happy! Little Genie and Josh and Danny's girl Jessi, too. You'd like her, lots. Dreamed of you last night, probably because of Danny's birthday ... can't remember dream but was sweet as usual. I see you more than I've posted ... continue working on "Spiced Latte" — a short with you as a spirit, prodding me on. Love you.

July 11, 2012 Forgot to post July 11, Our 22 anniversary, Curt's and mine... had Miguel for the day, we three went to see Disney movie, Brave ....had so much fun ... bought him a Mickey Mouse and he played with it in the fireplace and the was so distressed when it got full of soot -- will attempt to post pic of me cleaning it ... precious ...gotta figure out this new blogspot setup ....

Passed on Passover

Hi Carole,

Neither your kids nor mine stopped by tonight, got their own mojos. C'est la vie.

Little Genie skipped, too, is getting some — progress!

Curt diced celery and carrots for a rich chicken soup. Scrumptious. Matzoh balls another story. Way sweet being together.

Have your Seder plate, the one LIttle Genie gave you, the same I unpacked. Still has a D on the back ... Little Genie's dad's initial.

What we have left.

Missing you more than ever and ever.

♬ Dayenu ♬

Transitions ...

Adrienne Rich

March 29, 2012 // My 64 without you ...

As posted on the NYT ... March 29, 2012. Adrienne Rich, 1929-2012: A Poet of Unswerving Vision at the Forefront of Feminism. Carole, one of your favorites and also one of the most influential and widely read writers of the feminist movement, She took on sexism and racial oppression in her poems and prose. Many of her books from your collection are here, with me .. and you.